Preparing Psychologically For Retirement
Dr. Ian Shulman and Christine Leighland recently spoke with Jennifer Watson of Watson Investments on the topic of preparing psychologically and emotionally for retirement. As a Managing Partner of a financial services company, Ms. Watson spoke about how much time people put towards ensuring their financial stability post-retirement and how little is spent considering how to find meaning and personal fulfillment. Together, the group talked about ways people can fix that imbalance.
A major theme throughout the discussion was on how people, especially men, derive a sense of personal identity from the roles they perform at work, their daily routines and the demands placed on them. When the emails, calls and meetings stop, so too can the sense of having personal identify and sense of purpose. Christine Leighland acknowledged that while retirement is definitely something to celebrate, it can also activate grief for those losses. Leaning into those feelings, acknowledging their true weight can actually help people move through the transition faster and easier than forcing positivity.
The panel talked about how relationships need to adjust to the changing circumstances after retirement. Men tend to look forward to having more ‘couple time’ while women often want more time with adult children and grandkids. Years of “parallel” marriage routines, where partners are focused more on completing tasks, can leave couples realizing they haven’t built much in the way of shared connection. The panelists talked about how important it is for couples to regularly check-in with each other in meaningful ways, to work through the challenges of changing lifestyles together, rather than continuing to focus primarily on logistics.
Christine Leighland also stressed the importance of paying attention to how lessons about money and spending learned early in life can contribute to anxiety when savings stop growing and the nest egg starts depleting. Several exchanges between the panel and the audience highlighted the link between financial planning and trust in relationships. Much like how children need trusted adults nearby to feel safe enough to venture out into the big world, people considering retirement also need to trust their advisor’s read on their life before they can act on the numbers.
Overall, Dr. Shulman and Christine Leighland’s insights were well-received. We at Shift Cognitive Therapy thank Watson Investments for the invitation and look forward to other fruitful collaborations in the future.